No NaNo this year

Well, I was tempted, but here it is October 31 and I just don’t see how I could possibly do NaNoWriMo again, though I was mighty tempted. Kevin and I are going away for a week soon, and between that and the auction on the 21st, there just isn’t going to be enough time. Maybe next year, if I’m still walking this earth!

Speaking of October 31, it’s trick-or-treat night here in New Bloomfield. I bought five bags of candy, 108 pieces total, and was out in 34 minutes. I can hear the kids still parading up and down the sidewalk, but they’re passing me by (I put a sign on the door that we are out of candy). It amazes me that some parents will take their six-month-old babies out in a stroller and collect candy for them. Then there are the twenty somethings out there collecting, too. So when I run out of candy, I don’t feel bad. There aren’t even 50 children in this town let alone 108! People drive many miles to come here because it’s a pretty generous town. I’m not just quite as generous as I used to be, I guess!

Are there really that many more male poets?

I’ve never really thought about it before, but yesterday I went to West Chester to attend a craft lecture by David Yezzi (which was great, as was the buffet afterward, the fellowship around the table, and the reading later). Anyway, I purchased The Swallow Anthology of New American Poets and noticed later that the ratio of male to female poets in it is 2.5:1 (35 poets – 25 are male, 10 female). So I wondered, are there really that many more male poets than female? While I realize the majority of students who attended his reading probably did so as a requirement for a class they’re taking, I would venture to guess that 90% of those in attendance were young women.

I just found it interesting, that’s all. I think….

Emilie

I went to PCCA’s coffeehouse tonight. It’s the last one of the year, and a 12-year-old girl sang two songs. Afterwards I asked her for her autograph. It’s the first time anyone did that, and it was cute to hear her sister’s reaction. “You’re famous now?” she asked. Not yet, but she will be someday. Her voice was unique.

Two by two

Not animals. Not disciples. Poems. It’s been a while since I’ve submitted any, but the last time I did two poems were accepted, so we’ll see what the latest two do for my batting average. I’m sending “The Prayer of an End-User” to First Things again. I submitted it earlier in the year, and despite the fact that I forgot to enclose a SASE, I received an encouraging letter from Paul Lake, Poetry Editor. It was his suggestion to turn the 16 lines of blank verse into a sonnet, and it took a while but I did it (thanks in large part to the invaluable critique at Poet & Critic).

The other was a sonnet that Carol Taylor suggested I send to the Nemerov Contest. Let’s see, there are about 3,000 submissions for that one, and it would be going up against the work of some very talented poets, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? It is a good poem and I believe it will find a home somewhere eventually.

I haven’t written in a month. My life has just been way too busy. Lots of things brewing, though. I fully expect to wake up in the middle of the night again soon and crank something out. That’s how the last couple were created. Hope it’s not tonight, though, because I finished painting the shed today and am pretty pooped :)

A day in the life

I suppose in a way this blog is much like a diary, and occasionally I like to post what a day’s been like, so yeah, here was today…

Let’s see…I awoke around 5:00 because I was having a bad dream. All I remember is the end. Kevin and I were in a truck of some kind and we were driving fast on unfamiliar roads through mountains. We came around a corner and there was a cliff. He hit the brakes and turned and, well, we ended up going over the edge backwards. I had the sensation of free falling, and I remember I turned to him and he said he was sorry, and I said it was okay and that I loved him, and then I woke up. Not the best way to start the day. I tried go back to sleep but tossed and turned, finally getting up around 7:00 (Kevin had a late appointment so we had the luxury of a 30 extra minutes in bed). Anyway, I got two loads of wash done, did my proofreading for Perry Printing, relaxed for a few and read my devotions (see earlier post). Then I headed for the church and worked for five hours. I came home around 3:30 and started painting the side of the shed. I thought it would take two hours–it took three, and my right arm feels as if it is about to fall off (not to mention my right hand is cramped up). Just about ran out of light, and it was cooling down fast, but I got it done! A quick change later and I’m heading over to a friend’s house for dinner and then to do some singing and go over some Christmas music we might sing at church. And now I’m back. Busy day, huh? But a good one.

I’ve been in the mood to write, but it seems there’s never a big enough chunk of time. Still, I know when something good presents itself that it won’t matter–I’ll stay up late (or wake up early) when the words finally come. And I’ll welcome them whenever they show up, just glad to be writing again. I’m learning to be patient when it comes to inspiration :) I’m still mulling over a couple of sonnets. One of these days…

Discipleship

I’ve come to really appreciate Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost For His Highest.” To say that man had insight is an understatement. I appreciated today’s devotional and decided to post an excerpt…

“Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on the water is easy to impulsive pluck, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is a different thing. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he followed Him afar off on the land. We do not need the grace of God to stand crises, human nature and pride are sufficient, we can face the strain magnificently; but it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours in every day as a saint, to go through drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God; but we have not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, among mean people, and this is not learned in five minutes.”

Today is just another ordinary day full of ordinary things to do. I shall strive to do them exceptionally.

Flatlined

My blog stats have flatlined for a few days, and that’s okay. Doesn’t mean I should stop writing because no one’s reading what I say, though it does make me reevaluate some things and ask myself (again) why I keep a blog. Why does anyone, for that matter? I suppose there are many answers to that question, though most of the blogs I follow are those of fellow writers. Guess we can’t get enough of getting our words “out there.”

Sometimes I think, gee, if I were a somebody I bet there would be people who’d want to read what I have to say or maybe just want to learn more about me/my work. That kind of thinking is dangerous, though. It’s a slippery slope and I don’t enjoy falling down, so I really don’t want to go there. If anyone relies on a following for validation or their own sense of worth, then they’re in trouble already.

I do find myself wondering if, when my poems are published in Rattle and in The Binnacle, anyone will try to find out more about this particular unconventional poet. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see. And I wonder, too, if (how?) it’ll change/affect me. Probably doesn’t matter, because I’m just a blip on the radar anyway. Still, it does wonder me. Then again, a hundred years from now, what’s it going to matter? :)

I hardly knew him

Mom called tonight and said she had some bad news. My mind went immediately to a beloved aunt who has been having health issues and is in a rehab hospital. But no, it was her son, who passed away today from a heart attack. He was only 56. And I hardly knew him. We didn’t spend much time together growing up, and he stopped coming to family reunions a long time ago. Now he’s gone. They’re not telling his mother right away….

A strange yet wonderful detachment

I imagine some people would say I’m in denial or that I don’t care about what’s going on in the world, for I rarely speak of it, but it’s neither. There was a time when the news would fire me up, sometimes even to action (though looking back, that action wasn’t always good). But for a few years now I have found myself experiencing a strange yet wonderful detachment from what’s been happening around the world, but especially in our nation. I’m seeing a bigger picture of what’s going on, and trust in a sovereign God removes not just any but ALL fear of the future. I don’t have to wonder what’s going to happen because I know. Granted, I may not know specifics, but as events unfold it is strangely fascinating and potentially terrifying (if I focus on the circumstances and the trouble I see on the horizon, that is). In any event, I have found myself becoming more focused on God Himself and on my relationship with Jesus Christ.

I have a confession to make. It wasn’t too long ago that the thought of Christ’s return made me a little nervous. I “shrunk away” from the idea. It’s not that I didn’t want him to come back, but I didn’t have complete assurance of my salvation. There’s a reason the Bible says we should “strive to make your calling and election sure” and as my assurance grows it affects my life in many ways–all of them good. As my relationship with Jesus matures, so does my love for him and my longing to be with him. I can honestly say I am looking forward to his return because I don’t just know I’m a sojourner here, it has become a reality in my life.

That said, there is work to do. I believe each person has a mission in life, but there are two commands of Christ that we should follow: 1) Love God, and 2) love my neighbor. Benjamin Franklin used to start each day with a question, “What good should I do today?” He ended each day with one, too, “What good did I do today?” I believe there are many opportunities to do good, to love our neighbors. We just need to open our eyes and look around.

Time to go to work. So I ask, “What good shall I do today?”

These early starts

I’ve been up since 3-ish. It’s been a busy week already, and you’d think that I’d be able to stay in bed, but I can’t sometimes. When I’m wide awake I’ve learned it’s pointless to try to sleep, so I just get an earlier start than usual to my day. And what a day it’s going to be! I have a ton of work to do at the church, then I’m off to go with a friend to a meet with a counselor, then back to the church to put the supper together for tonight’s missions conference. The rest of the week is going to be busy as well, and on into the weekend. In fact, by Sunday night I think I’ll be about bushed. But oh, I forgot, I have to go to Lancaster County on Monday to meet with the auctioneer and draw up a sale bill. Then there’s choir practice later that day. So my first best chance for rest is next Tuesday. :)

Through all this busy-ness I’m trying to learn what it means to rest in the Lord. I can’t do all this in my own strength, I’d burn out (I’m fighting it already, can you tell?). Perhaps that’s why He woke me up early, to have some quiet time to read and pray and let this busy mind of mine work through some of the things I must get done. I have a lot of apples in my cart right now, and it wouldn’t take much to upset it!

And in the back of this busy mind are two poems that have been brewing for a couple of weeks. I think they’re going to turn out to be sonnets (I seem to be writing a lot of them lately). One has to do with Jesus’ command to so many He healed of “don’t tell anyone”, which always baffled me. The other has to do with Joshua and his meeting with the Angel of the Lord. I would like to think I am finally beginning to be able to write what I’ve been longing to, but I know it’s not going to be easy. I tend to wax preachy and don’t want to do that in these. It’s so often the subtle things in the Bible that can have a great impact on our lives (if we notice them).

Anyway, I must get going. Ready or not, here I come, world!