I had a session with Richard this week and he told me I need to push against fear in my life.  I did that last week when I decided to go to the nursing home and pray despite the nasty GI bug that was spreading quickly among the residents.  The real challenge for me, though, is prophetic words.  So he encouraged me, reminding me that Global is a safe place to practice, and I realized he was right.  It’s a gift you choose to grow in…or not.  So today I chose to grow and gave three.  The first was to an online friend who is there this week as well.  When I asked God to give me a picture for her I saw a dolphin swimming in the water.  I like dolphins (who doesn’t?!) and shared some of what I know about them and how I felt it applied to her (for instance, they are very intelligent and use echolocation like bats do).  I got to thinking later about echolocation as their form of “hearing” but it’s also a “seeing” thing.  They have physical eyes but they also have the ability to “see” things through their radar.  She’s a seer, so that makes sense :)  There were other things too but I forget them.  The cool thing is she said it’s not the first time she’s gotten words that have to do with the ocean/sea.  Kind of a confirmation for me that I was on the right track.  The second lady I actually had thought about the night before when I was reading about Anna, the widow whose husband died young and she spent the rest of her days in prayer at fasting at the temple.  This woman had tragedy in her life just like Anna did, and though she doesn’t have an external temple to go to she has a temple of God inside of her and she has learned to live from there.  It seems that everything she does flows out of her love for Him.  I believe she, like Anna, is going to see Jesus face to face.  The third was to Jason, the guy who gave me a word last Friday.  I was thinking of him (again, the night before) and got this brief flash of a big crane with a wrecking ball.  I shared that with him today, how I saw him at the controls just having the time of his life while he swung this thing around and crashed into walls that were strongholds.  They weren’t his strongholds, though, they were other people’s, and the wrecking ball was the prophetic words that he shares with others.  He is helping tear down strongholds in their lives with his words.  All three of them thanked me, and Jason said that he’s gotten words about hammers, drills, sledgehammers, etc., but this was a first.  It fits, though, because he said the best part of construction is demolition, and he loves demolition :)  I’m looking forward to tomorrow.  Perhaps I’ll get to practice a little more.  Hard to say though, because I don’t know what’s planned.  I do want to keep on working at it though.

Tonight I went to Perry Village for an hour.  I visited two ladies.  The first has macular degeneration and can only see light and dark.  She recently fell because of that and broke her hip.  I asked if I could pray for her and that opened up a lively conversation about healing.  I shared some stories from Brazil with her.  Although nothing appeared to have happened after I prayed, she said not to give up and I told her I’d pray for her again when I came in.  She said every prayer counts :)  The other lady had had a couple of strokes and had some problems with her memory but otherwise was pretty good (a little hard of hearing perhaps).  She had some back pain though and I prayed for her before I left.  Both said to come back for a visit sometime.  I hope to go there once a week for now, perhaps more in the future.

Btw no headache today, which is wonderful.  I’m also not as cold.  Come to think of it that could have been one of the reasons for that as headaches tend to mess with my “thermostat.”  One more day of fasting and then I can eat again on Saturday.  But I’ve been reading a book by Mahesh Chavda called “The Hidden Power of Prayer and Fasting” and have pretty much decided I need to fast one day a week.  The Lord may call me to longer fasts occasionally but that’s the plan for now.  Guess I ought to get to bed soon.  Hope we sleep better tonight!

I’m not sure why this four-day fast is proving to be so difficult.  Certainly the headaches aren’t helping.  I had a mild one yesterday and a stronger one most of the day today.  I took a nap when I got home and it’s better, though still lurking.  I’m incredibly tired and am camping out by the wood stove because I’m having trouble staying warm.  I’ve been going on site to be with the class, and it’s been good.  Yesterday I couldn’t get warm, so today I dressed really warm and was overheated, lol.  This morning we stood in a circle around the “tent of meeting” placed in the center of the room and made declarations.  It was a good exercise.  Then Max said we’ve got the soaking down pretty good, and the worshiping, but that we still needed to work on crying out.  I was seated at the time and had a brief thought of standing up and crying for deliverance right there but I didn’t. :(  In the afternoon Max had the women stand in a circle around the room.  Then the men (including some of Global’s employees because women outnumber men in the classes) stood in front of them and prophesied and made declarations.  I had my tape recorder this time.  One of them told me that my ship was on course.  I needed to hear that.

I don’t know what it is about prophetic words that bring so much life.  I think because they speak to the promised land of my destiny.  Everyone wonders why they were born, what they’re supposed to be doing.  We have this innate sense of purpose for something bigger than ourselves.  When I sat down to write this post Hope’s Anthem was “playing” in my head.  ”He’s awakening the hope in me by calling forth my destiny; He’s breathing life into my soul, I will thirst for Him and Him alone.”  Regardless of how I am feeling about “where I’m at” I can sing that song because my hope is in Him.  Every time He shows me something I say, “That has to die.”  I’ve been saying that a lot lately, it seems.  Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, if there will be anything left of me.  Then again, “when it’s all said and done” I am quite sure my eyes will finally be like a dove’s with a singular focus.  That’s my hope, anyway :)

They’ve decided to allow online students to attend (and they don’t have to use their “free” days!!!), so I am planning at this point to go in every day.  I don’t want to miss anything :)  Stay tuned!

So during the time of prayer for someone who is battling an illness I prayed, too.  It was definitely a different prayer than I would have prayed a year ago, and I tried to be careful so as not to offend (I sincerely do not want to do that) though it may have raised a few eyebrows, but I believe it is God’s will to heal and that changes everything.  I know I prayed with more confidence than I had a year ago!  Definitely learning what it means to “boldly go before the throne of grace”!  Made me wonder, though, at the end of the service when the minister asked if we could just sing one more song, whether or not my prayer/presence had anything to do with the choice.  That song?  ”Old Time Religion.”   I must admit to changing the last line when I sang it :)

Btw I shook the minister’s hand and thanked him for his message before I left.  I believe in the unity of believers, even if some of them may see me as a “them.”

Second, I bought a book when Doug Addison was at Global the other week.  It’s entitled “Decrees Inspired by the Psalms” by Elizabeth A. Nixon, Esq.  There are many benefits to decrees, and I plan to start making it a daily practice.  Here’s one I read today, inspired by Psalm 7…

The great thing about God is that I can trust Him.  His eternal plan protects me, His friendship vindicates me, His presence is my safe and calm retreat.

I am liberated from all the nonsense of the world’s priorities.  He alone is my goal; I pursue Him for no reason other than to enjoy Him.

Jehovah, I give You the highest place of my heart!  You are established as the ruler over my family’s generations.  You are set above.  I ratify your promises over my household.

The justice of the Lord wins every time.  His justice is established over my life.  The rights and privileges of the Kingdom of Heaven are mine.

Deliverance, victory and prosperity are decreed for me.  He has set them in place and established them.  The time of breakthrough is now.

I watched a show on TV last night about Dogs and Cats and one dog owner said something that made me chuckle.  He was referring to a cartoon and in it the dog was asked what time it was and the answer is always “Now!  Now!  Now!”  as it jumped around anxious to play.  Dogs always know what time it is, lol.  I think “now” would be a good word to look up in Strong’s….

He started off by saying that I’ve been really going after God’s heart these past couple of weeks and told me that God is going to “enlarge my tent”, He’s going to come and blow me away basically, lol.  I looked up Isaiah 54 afterward.  I like the way the New Living Translation puts it:  “Enlarge your house; build an addition. Spread out your home, and spare no expense!  For you will soon be bursting at the seams!”  Btw I feel in this case that the tent is referring to my heart.  The night before I was discouraged and spoke to a friend about it, telling her that I felt like I had a heart the size of the Grinch’s (you know, ten sizes too small) and that it needed to be expanded.  He really does hear us, you know.  :)  To further confirm this, this guy tells me, “You’ve even been saying to God, like, ‘What the heck!?’”  And he said it exactly like I did in that sort of “I am not getting this at all” way!  I remember that it was in the middle of the night recently when I said that to God and forget what my conversation with Him was about, but it made me laugh when Jason told me.  He said that what God had for me was much more than I could imagine.  I don’t know, Jason, I have a pretty good imagination.  Let’s put it this way:  picture that scene in the fifth element at the end when Korben tells Jovovich that he loves her and then kisses her and she leans back and light just floods out of her?  Yeah.  ‘Nuff said.  Funny thing is, even writing that makes me feel as if I could burst.  I think it’s Joy.  I think that’s what I’m feeling.  :) No surprise, then, that Isaiah 54 starts out Shout for Joy!

Jason said other things as well, that He was pleased with me and that I’m His beloved daughter.  I never get tired of hearing that.  He also said (and here’s where I really wish I’d taped it) something about something (God?) coming on me like a rushing wind.  I immediately thought Pentecost and wondered if that would be mine.  I still haven’t been able to pray in tongues and have stopped striving.  It is a gift, after all :)

Tracee had some great teaching on intercession and I realized I’ve still got a lot to learn, but there’s a boldness rising up.  At the end of the day she had a time of impartation.  She’s done a lot of it, she said, but there was something powerful going on, something holy that she rarely experiences.  And just in case you’re wondering, yes, I went down, lol.  While I was waiting, though, I felt something shift, and I was able to focus in a way I haven’t been able to before.  It was glorious :)  Afterward, a woman named Joan who also does intercession and often works with Tracee prophesied over any students who stayed and wanted it.  I stayed.  I’m glad I did.  I’ll have to write about that another time because my daughter-in-law just showed up with my grandson!  Life is good :)

Now I know I had a reason for choosing Who knew? as a post title but I can’t think of it right now, lol.  And it doesn’t really matter anyway :)

When God finished creating the world, He declared it good. Adam and Eve were given dominion over it and placed in a garden of delight. When they fell, they gave their God-given authority over to Satan, and sickness and disease entered the world. I believe sickness is not natural to human beings and that is why we instinctively resist it.

In Western cultures, sickness is viewed as a problem for doctors to heal. When healing doesn’t come, people seek alternative medicines and healing practices. Because evangelical churches are basically cessationist in their beliefs, people turn to the New Age movement for healing. It is there that they are introduced to a mixed bag of beliefs and practices, ranging from the good to the benign, the bad, and the demonic. And it is precisely because New Age religions have dug so deeply into the wrong spirit realm that they’ve made the Church afraid to pursue the true manifestations of God’s Spirit. These are opposite ends of the spectrum, but both have the same result: powerless Christianity.

But isn’t God all powerful? you may ask. As Dutch Sheets states in Intercessory Prayer, “Power never was and never will be the issue between God and Satan. Authority was the issue—the authority Satan had obtained through Adam. Jesus did not come to get back any power, nor to remove Satan’s power. He came to regain the authority Adam lost to the serpent and break his headship over the earth” Sheets (163). So while it’s Power that does the work, it is authority that controls the power. God is sovereign and all-powerful, but Scripture clearly tells us He limited Himself to working through human beings here on earth.

Alexander Venter, in his book Doing Healing explains, “The correct context to understand sickness and healing is the theology of the kingdom of God. In essence, this is war with evil to liberate human beings and the earth from the power of evil. Jesus came into the world for that very reason, to destroy the works of the devil. He saw his mission as an invasion of Satan’s kingdom or ‘house’, to tie him up and defeat him. Jesus then plunders his ‘possessions’–we who are held captive to evil by the curse of sin, sickness, demons and death. Jesus defeats Satan by his kingdom ‘coming upon’ people, and he empowers his followers to continue doing the same” (67). The church isn’t to be the sign, but the instrument reaching out to the kingdom of God “at hand.” Is it any wonder, then, that “the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him” (2 Chr. 16:9)? The Church is called to enforce and make effectual the freedom Christ procured and God is looking for co-laborers! “Our silence and passivity with regard to the good news of God’s kingdom could be the greatest scandal in human history, equal only to Satan’s deceptive cover-up since his defeat at the nail-pierced hands of Jesus” Venter (73).

Still, the question remains, why are some healed while others are not? Perhaps it is because of unbelief or lack of faith. In talking about the people of Nazareth, Mark 6:5 states, “He could do no miracle there.” There was a measurable degree of the power of God missing because of the unbelief. That said, the a person’s faith is not the source of healing, God is.

In God’s Generals, Roberts Lairdon described how Kathryn Kuhlman, a great hero of the faith, would weep as she watched people leave who remained sick or in wheelchairs. “She never tried to explain why some received their healing and some did not. She believed the responsibility remained with God. She liked to refer to herself as in sales, not management. Whatever Management decided to do, she would have to oblige. But she did say it would be one of the first questions she would ask God when she got to heaven!” (297) I think it will be one of mine, too!

In closing, I believe it is God’s will to remove the dis-ease and dis-order which entered the world through Adam’s sin and to restore peace and wholeness to His children through Jesus’ sacrifice. I believe that while God is sovereign He’s designed this world so that much of what is His will is contingent upon the attitudes and actions of human beings. “Whether through speaking, touching, laying hands on the sick, declaration or worship, when God’s power starts flowing upon the earth, it is flowing through human vessels. We, the Body of Christ, as God’s womb from which His life is birthed or released upon the earth. The life that Christ produces flows from the womb of the Church” Sheets (212).

Jesus had a moment-by-moment consciousness of God as his Father, dwelling in him and operating through him. He was so profoundly conscious of being sent by the Father, knowing he could do nothing on his own initiative or from his own ability. Utterly dependent on his Father, he showed us how it’s done, but do we do it? Do we practice the presence of God? How often do I turn from my own thoughts and initiatives and trust God for His? Do I have eyes to see and ears to hear? In John 15:7 Jesus said, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it shall be done for you.” Lord, teach us to abide!

I’ve you’ve decided to leave a church don’t just disappear, say goodbye. You may think it doesn’t matter, but it does. And don’t say bad things about the people there. They’re your brothers and sisters in Christ!

Ecclesiastes 10:20 says, “Do not revile the king even in your thoughts, or curse the rich in your bedroom, because a bird of the air may carry your words, and a bird on the wing may report what you say.” I realize I’m not a king, but the principle’s the same. Your words have a way of getting back to the person/people you’re talking about. So when you say things like, “I didn’t have any friends there anyway,” and it gets back to the person who was honestly trying to reach out to you and who considered you their friend, it hurts. A lot. Makes them want to ask, “What am I?”

***

Editing back in on Sunday (1/22).  I knew when I held my cursor over the publish button on this post that I’d regret publishing it, and I thought about taking it down, but the object of this blog isn’t to paint a picture of myself as that of someone who has it all together all the time and/or someone who has no struggles or sin.  Anyway reading this morning I came across something in “The Spiritual Guide” by Michael Molinos that drew my mind right to this post.  He said…

It is a saying worthy of all truth that a person who despises his own self-nature cannot be hurt or injured by someone else.  Let nothing disturb you.  Let nothing affront you.  All things will come to an end.  God only is unchangeable.  Patience obtains all things.  He who has God has everything.  He who has not laid hold of God has nothing.  If you are impatient toward another and you lay the fault on your companion, then you never realize that you are intolerable!  

When the rancor is over, it is your cunning ability to rationalize which proves you to be virtuous!  Virtue so attained is a poor virtue indeed.

And why not?  After all, you give precepts.  You relate spiritual sayings.  You relate all things to Scripture.  Yet you do this without your faults ever changing.

Oh yes, you are willing to say things about yourself, to disclose your faults before others, and many other such impressive things; but within you, you are justifying yourself far more than you are seeing your faults!  By such means the monster within you returns again and again to esteem himself.

Or perhaps you say:  ”This matter is not because of some fault in me, but because of my zeal for justice”!  This only shows that there is something within you that still believes that you are virtuous, courageous, constant, and that you would give your life up to death for the sole sake of Divine love.  Yet you can hardly hear a bitter word against you without being troubled and disquieted within yourself.

And you do give a rejoinder…yet only internally.  What is this?  All such things are but industrious engines of self love; these are proud secrets of your soul.

Self love which reigns in you stands as your greatest hindrance in obtaining precious peace.

Ouch.

Speaking of which, I am still getting up early (this morning around 3:30). This has been going on since around Christmas and at first I was kind of like, “Okay, God, what’s this all about?” Over the course of a few weeks, though, I’ve come to expect it, and I do love mornings. Nothing “dramatic” has happened, though I believe there’s something to be said for being up during the fourth watch, but I still have hope :) Sometimes I’ll put in my earbuds and worship, sometimes I’ll read. This morning I prayed. That reminds me of something…yesterday morning in the half-awake I was dreaming. I only remember one picture from the dream at the very end, and it was two hands coming out of the head of a horse. Whaaaa??? The fingers and thumb were tight (like a karate hand) and they were a couple inches apart. Then as I watched they touched and made a point, like hands praying, and I thought, “Hey, it’s a unicorn!” and woke up thinking about the power (in the horn) was from prayer. At the beginning of GSSM this fall we did a prophetic exercise. Three guesses as to what my partner got for me (and the first two don’t count, lol).

There’s a lot I don’t understand, but I will someday. And in the meantime, it’s sweet to trust. He’s good. He’s so good. :)

I don’t think I understood the heavenly pattern for prayer before. Jesus is the Victor–we’re the enforcers of that victory; Jesus is the redeemer–we’re the releasers. My prayers of intercession release Christ’s finished work of intercession. That makes us His co-laborers. As Dutch puts it, “I think Christ is awesome and wants us to be ‘awesomites.’ Humble awesomites representing His awesomeness, but awesome nonetheless. More than conquerors! Christ and His Christians, changing things on the earth!”

The timing of this read amazes me. Two days ago I got a call from a young mother of four who found out she has stage 3 ovarian cancer of an aggressive form. This is it, I heard in my spirit, the battle’s on. Then yesterday my mom tells me she went to the doctor and the doctor ordered a CAT scan and a colonoscopy because of some symptoms she’s having.

Tracee Loosie is in town this week for two days at Global, but she’s preaching tomorrow at Earl’s church in Harrisburg and my husband and I plan to attend. She is a mighty intercessor and I need to glean every bit of anything I can from her. I’m going to need it in the days and weeks ahead. Actually, for the rest of my life!

So, if you’re tired of cloaking your ignorance in robes of blind obedience and calling it spirituality, tired of religious exercises that make you feel better for a while but bear little lasting fruit, and tired of a form of godliness without power, read the book. Think I’ll follow my own advice and get back to it :)