Wow, I just got these! But they were defective, so I took them back and they were replaced but were found to be defective again! After this last fix, they warped again so today I took them back and now they’re giving me a brand new pair of glasses for free AND I get to keep the old ones (which is great because they’re small and fit under my goggles!). I feel like Brian Regan, “Does life get any better than this? I submit that it cannot!”

In other news, some rabblerousers decided to have a drinking party after Christmas and trash the historic residence of Robert Frost. I think as punishment they should each be made to write a sonnet on the evils of underage drinking and memorize at least ten of his poems.